CorvidSketch Episode I: I love it when a plan comes together

It was all supposed to be going so well. They would get Brexit done, win the election, send Corbyn back to Cuba and the people would demand that their Prime Ministerial savior would be immortalised in a statue on Parliament Square next to grand old Churchill. Then Corona happened.What to do? What to do? This was not what he signed up for when he became prime minister.

Boris, caught by the sound of his ego quickly deflating decided to trust his trusty Dom, Dominic Cummings. The UK thus braced for the onslaught of corona by realising Dom's mantra of 'doing things differently', in this case by cocooning old people in protective layers of bullsh*t. Then two weeks later a dramatic change of strategy as Mr Johnson was kidnapped by mainstream scientists and forced to follow WHO guidelines. Even when the science operatives aren't flanking him at press conferences it is believed that they continue to maintain a hold over him with the trigger phrase, 'paternity test'. Announcing that the UK was going into lockdown the effects of logic and reason were beginning to show on the prime minister's haggered face, his normally chirpy Eton-educated chap of the people demeanor replaced with quiet bewilderment. Neither his great war time predecessor or the insurance mascot providing him with inspiration.

The Great British people faced with a sensible request to remain indoors to avoid an infectious pandemic did what they did best and flooded into the parks and into spontaneous queues in the street while stockpiling toilet roll and brewdog ipa. This being an outlet for the public's rebellious streak that absolutely no one needed. Their only hope now is that gradually Boris comes to love his scientific captors, developing a sympathy towards facts and evidence. Perhaps somewhere in between his scheduled feeding times, toilet breaks and forced video messages telling everyone that he is being treated well he may even find some time for some sensible policy decisions....

I guess we start praying...