"What the fuck am i doing here?" is probably what your local MP was thinking as they joined the socially distanced, 45 minute long queue to vote in the House of Commons last week. Jacob Rees-Mogg has brought them all back from staying home and saving lives to ensure that democracy is upheld and people vote in person rather than join the nation on zoom. They could vote digitally from home, rocking a classic pj/suit combo, but this won't do for Mogg. So back they come. Ironically to vote on whether they want to continue voting in person or not.
So while the world watched protests against racial injustice spread and nations continued to grapple with the nightmare of corona our politicians spent 45 being peak British. From the green leather covered Commons to the drafty echo chamber of Westminster Hall and out under the cloudy sky above New Palace Yard they lined up. Bemused protesters stared at them through the railings.
Where was your MP? Perhaps she was the one who fainted (true story). We don't know why? Was it due to an underlying health condition or the sheer ridiculousness of the situation?
Perhaps you have the member for Birmingham Yardley. You can imagine Jess Phillips yelling at the statue of Gladstone, "this is a disgrace"! Perhaps your MP is a little calmer, quietly sneaking out of the line for five minutes. Returning with a little snort and a wink. Were they doing snuff? We are sure it must be snuff. Maybe your MP was simply checking their phone and having a 2 meter apart chat over fishing policy.
I am sure even this simple task confused some of them. Bob Seeley might have been having a barbecue half way down the queue with his favourite journalists and cocktails. Mark Francois MP mis-interpreted the whole reason for queuing and joined the line clutching a ration book he'd made himself.
And at the far end there was complete confusion as the line of MPs waiting to vote collided with the socially distanced queue for Tesco's express outside Westminster tube. One of the local street cleaners ended up voting to support an amendment to continue digital business in the House and Lloyd Russell Moyle MP found himself with a packet of mini sausage rolls and a Fanta.
In the end the MPs carried out their vote a whole half an hour longer than normal. Unless of course they were one of the many MPs who were shielding due to health issues, pregnancy or concerned about being on public transport for 7 hours while travelling twice a week from the Highlands to London. Voting digitally like they have been doing in the past few weeks would of course solve this issue but no that's not what British democracy is about. Why have a fully inclusive 2 minute digital vote, when you could queue instead?
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